Archive for May, 2009
Away to another day
Friday, May 29th, 2009Jiggedy Jig
Saturday, May 23rd, 2009Good evening Internet folks!
You know, I was going to say I’ve had some amazing adventures of late, but to be honest I’ve mostly been doing DIY on the personal life. This has involved much sitting at a desk, eating chocolate and…more chocolate. And then I look up and May is on its way out and the sun is shining! damn! But it is almost at an end and I can get back to the good stuff (eating chocolate… in bed)
I went roaming around London in an area I don’t really know and left the ipod at home. I tried a new cafe, it was dark wood and blue and cool inside, and served Basque cooking which was just fab… Then I wandered into some second hand bookstores and found Dvorak CD’s and the winning treat of the day: a picture book of vibrators (which I could almost all name and the company that manufactures them, weehee)
As I’ve been on a chocolate binge and stuck at my desk, I am convinced I’ve put on a bit, though so far no one has agreed with me and thinks it is great:) The good news is it all seems to have gone to my chest! My puppies have grown and seem like they are trying to escape my bras and dresses! Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining, I just don’t want to be out of shape and feel like I’ve just been sat around for-ever… Which I have.
I mention this new puppy-progress, as the dress I was wearing the other day on my walk was rawwther low cut, and so my bountiful bouncing buxomness bounding down the backstreets of London was a bit of an eye popper to be certain. In the bookshop I realised I was bending over and inadvertently re-adjusting right beside a poor chap at his eye level who was knelt down reshelving stuff. And then of course he spotted the book in my hand:
‘VIBRATORS’ Just as I was saying to my friend ‘that’s a good looking one, but I don’t think the power is there’ Yup. Hand down dress. Tits trying to sneak out. Eye level in a crammed space. Holding a sex toy book.
The little awkward ‘Umm, hehe sorry!’ from us both and then after I left I couldn’t stop laughing. I’m sure my position in that sleepy shop as ‘The One with her knockers out who is into toys’ is now cemented. I intend to go back for the Dvorak on a sunny hot day.
I found an organic shop that felt like a creaky big treehouse, everything was crammed inside, from turnips to juices and pills and organic coffee and everything lovely and sweet smelling. The cashier had the most amazingly foppish hair I have ever seen. If Richard E Grant and Hugh Grant had a baby with big hair he would work at that organic shop.
I took my drink to the park and watched a baby duck make an emancipation attempt across the pond…only to watch him get snatched back by a scolding momma duck, and generally enjoyed every last minute of my stroll, ahh for the air and sun again.
Other things I learned this week:
While entertaining a wonderful gentleman I’d not met before, I uncovered that my (self-assumed) cleverness does not extend to cover accents! As a matter o’fact, I mistook the poor lad for a German, only to find he is…Scottish. Ooopsie.
I blamed having lived in the US. We sometimes say thick things when it comes to the ‘Need a passport to get there…’ neck of the woods. Remember the Youtube video of folks who pointed to Australia on the map and thought it was Iran? So that was my excuse for being accent-daft and I am sticking by it 
He was most gracious and we had much back and forth teasing and enjoyed a lot of conversation on many different things. The poor lad even listened to me yammer about some very dull things (Of course: it helps that I was straddling him on the bed hey?) I think I made it up to him in other ways… You all know me, I’m mouthy at all times!
So… I am going to be getting out more and I’m excited that soon I am having a nice holiday adventuring away from London- I will bring the camera and will still blog, Cross my Heart and Kiss my Elbow. I’ll put up another post saying more on all that.
Hope you All have a great Bank Holiday. xxx Kisses from Evie
Hellooo
Saturday, May 16th, 2009
Hello everyone!
I have been away from the blog, but aww I’ve missed it!
Just a quick note to say I’ve not forgotten about it or you and I shall return after May 20th xxx
xxx Evie
Vibrate your world – Steampunk style
Thursday, May 7th, 2009
This is my second post in a vibrator series and the first since I decided to make it a series. If it seems like it’s working I’ll do a new vibrator (heh, do) each week.
Kicking off this new adventure, give me Steam.
You love it, I love it, Peter Gabriel loves it. Steam is sexy. Steam engines, which leads you to smooth, sleek powerful pistons coated in grease thrusting, smoke coming out of ears, traction, rockets, pumping, steam rooms, sweat… Damn, getting hot in here already. A girl could have a lot of fun with steam, and often makes her own.
What do the steampunks do when they want a bit of piston action??
Steampunk + sex toys = Something that will do more than give your left hand RSI, it will also burn your palm:
The Steam powered vibrator.
Ok I think I speak for myself when I say OMG. Alright so it isn’t on sale, but it does work. The glorious creator is an engineering student genius on Flickr whose invention I will steal skill is really amazing! I hope that machine shop job comes (cums?) right your way. If this pops up on eBay outbidding me will not happen.
Vibrator History:
The vibrator was invented in the 1880′s and was a straight forward electric design, no steam sadly. The vibrator was initially used to treat female hysteria among other things and was marketed for retail sale in 1902. The 5th appliance to run on electricity, right up there with the kettle and toaster. It wasn’t until we started using vibes in porn that they disappeared from mainstream retail catalogues (until relatively recently).
I have long had a theory that the invention of the vibrator and it’s subsequent prescription to those suffering ‘hysteria’ was actually the CAUSE for hysteria diagnoses sudden upsurge.
Symptoms of ‘hysteria’ included loss of appetite, insomnia, irritability and ‘causing trouble’.
From personal experience? I have had ALL of these symptoms when my favorite vibrator died (also during the previously discussed vibrator Mr Duck, 1xAAA my butt). Little is more frustrating than jussssst missing out on that grand finale you seek.
An inability to get ones self off would make anyone cranky and cause many a sleepless night. Textbook hysteria! I see it all now, where’s my NHS vibe? (actually no, I bet it’d be one of those white plastic ones from back in the day that ran on D’s and were huge).
Pictured: Ad and an actual box for vibes I think from …40′s? and 30′s (rightt: looks kinda like the Wahl aye?) ad on left: guess milady likes 7 & 1/2″ for her jittery nerves:)
So, you’re a housewife, Victoria is your Queen, you are suffering from hysteria. Whats your good neighborhood Doc do? He gives you a Hitachi Magic Wand and says ‘go use this really frequently’ (and probably gives you a helping hand lucky you!)
I’d start hitting up all the local clinics with fake names acting hysterical and trouble-making like some kind of junky (don’t judge! ) until I had a pile of them and could never be hysterical again.