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  • Archive for July, 2009

    Beauty’s Punishment

    Wednesday, July 29th, 2009

    So. The gym, then.

    I’ve begun going to the gym and, determining that motivation to reach targets is key to my success, I’ve got myself a shiny new instructor. He is Rainier Wolfcastle from the Simpsons.

    It was my own damn mistake letting them know when I signed up that I wanted ‘motivation’ and ‘someone who won’t take any guff’

    Oops. THAT is the Fitness equivalent of touching a hot stove. You should know better and you suffer for your idiocy. Do you ever suffer!

    My Eyes! The goggles do nothing!

    Rainier will, apparently, be *sculpting* my abs and bum through a combination of strength building exercises. Apparently you can sculpt cookie dough now :)

    I kid, I’m not out of shape really, no ugly duckling, but I want to firm up and get healthy again (note: And I’ve a good fitness cause too, details to follow!)

    My first session I had to list all the awful habits I have… which in the harsh light of day sound *bad*. Every drink you drink, breakfast you skip or donut you devour sound 1,000,000x  worse when you are confessing them to someone so…scary.

    Went through my goals, and I resisted the urge to say ‘Let’s cut the bull, make my butt look like Beyonce’s!’ and instead listed off the usual ‘Feel better, more energy….’ We ALL have to say that is our goal in the gym, but really we want to bounce quarters off our buns. Don’t judge!

    We proceeded to the gym area itself, where I…

    • Got slogans shouted at me,
    • Almost cried,
    • Had my triceps, lats and abs mocked.
    • Almost fell down the stairs in exhaustion
    • This was after half an hour.
    • Me ——->  :(

     

    That is why  the title of this post seemed apt, Beauty’s Punishment. Beauty’s Punishment actually refers to one of the poorly written erotic stories Anne Rice did in the 80′s (well before she went Assistant Jesus on everyone).

    Sure the relationship between Sadomasochistic tendencies and the gym/beauty is well explored, and certainly the kind of muscle soreness I’ve got tonight I’d equate to a solid caning! But to be honest I just like the turn of phrase.

     

    There is a french proverb, Il faut souffrir pour etre belle, which translates in english to One Must Suffer to Be Beautiful. We pluck, wax, scrub, exfoliate, depilate, lunge, push up, crunch, squat, wax, and treadmill ourselves in its name, and then lets not forget all the bad tasting health food we eat (I don’t care what they say, Not One of those protein powders tastes like chocolate)… All for beauty, whatsoever we each define that as.

    I guess going one step further and actually having someone shout at me is not a big leap in terms of kink!

    So there might be hope of me learning to love my punishment in the gym and becoming an obliging treadmill slave yet…. Ohh Thighmaster, I’ve been a lazy lazy girl!!! teehee!

    PS

    Regardless how we define physical beauty, no amount will ever mask an ugly heart :) Cliche I know xxx Kisses

     



    New Review on Punterlink

    Tuesday, July 28th, 2009

    ev10

    I received a new review this week on Punterlink, Many thanks darling!

    Reviews are great, they are the best advertisement I can get. Your positive and thoughtful words make me feel glad that we had such a fun time!

    Punterlink International Review

    A night at the theater

    Friday, July 24th, 2009

    This week has been theatrical. First up was Romeo and Juliet.

    I love going to the Globe, The last 2 seasons I’ve seen everything they’ve done, along with a handful of RSC in the Winter.  Troilus and Cressida next (Another tragedy, damn!)

    I met up with a friend for sushi and cocktails beforehand, and then headed to Southbank to walk along the river past Tate Modern and into the Globe.

    The Globe is especially fun if you’re in the yard. The yard is for ‘groundlings’ its standing room only, you queue up early, get in and rush in to mark out your territory. Back in the 1600s the groundlings area was for people too poor to pay the fee for a bench and cushion (And a roof) It cost a penny. I guess they used to cram them in, but now the crowd is of course limited so it’s really nowhere near as bad as it sounds, and way better than being in a crowd at a concert. It ALSO happens to be some of the best view in the house! We got right up against the front and had a perfect unobstructed view of everything. For a fiver you can plunk your bag down for some top notch theatre in a beautiful venue and absorb some art.

    The fun thing in the groundling area is the feeling you get of being *part of the play, of being part of a visceral genuine experience as opposed to being simply ‘the audience’ and just watching. You feel like a participant, like this wonderful adventure is being shared with you, and it is exciting. Never knowing when someone might rush forward and be right above you, or when the fight might spill onto the exits… The action is just inches away, and they play their scene before your eyes AND your nose!

    It WAS funny though when a male audience member to my right had Romeo directly in front of him and was trying desperately not to look at his crotch :) (he did look)

    The play opens with a few songs done by the chorus, gentlemen who also play other characters. They  sang a few songs with words from Sir Walter Raleigh, Giovanni Domenico da Nola… It’s one of the times you get sucked into the play, and this time I got the attention.

    All four chorus singers Leapt to their knees then sprawled down before me and hauled themselves right over the edge of the stage and sang an entire verse right.at.me, literally surrounded me where I stood, just inches away!! In front of the *entire* theater. A verse goes on for ages when there are four Shakespearean Actors serenading you in front of 3000 people. I tried my best not to swoon! I mostly smiled and laughed and tried to not look straight at each of them because I was blushing so hard.

    All i could think was ‘OMG!’ My friend remarked ‘It had to be you didn’t it’ Which was intensely flattering, (in fact the entire experience was) But surprising given my effort-free get up.  Later on, the Friar Lawrence had another audience member smell lavender, so I wasn’t the only one to get involved. Even so… By Jingo, what an intro that was for me. Makes a heck of a change from the last act of Romeo and Juliet, from a giggling serenade to a suicide pact-  in 3 hours flat.

    They also altered one song to include ‘please turn off your cell phone or we’ll die!’

    The play itself was outstanding through and through with a bit of rain here and there for punctuation, which oddly only came down when there were no women on stage! It was also really excellent seeing so many actors for whom this production of Romeo and Juliet was a professional debut. In particular, Juliet and Tybalt were both played by noobs, and I can honestly say. Wow. Juliet has some lungs on her! If that is her pro debut then expect to see her cleaning up the awards shows in 10 years.

    One place that the Globe truly excels is in their vigorous and downright shocking stage fights. In some, there are several ongoing battles running back and forth and it is all SO perfectly done. The acting, music, staging, it is all so well done. And yes, there were tears and hugs at the end and the checking of mascara in the bathroom mirror. Hey, it’s Romeo and Juliet! I’m very much a girl at the tragedies, my tissues were safely in my front pocket.

    But they never let you leave with a frown, so the entire cast takes their bows to a jolly tune and dance across the stage to fair thee well with a smile. Just one more reason I’ll become a Patron of the Globe in future, it is in my heart xx

     

     

    News news news!

    Thursday, July 23rd, 2009

     

    Hi Hi Hi There, Well Hullo….

    Sorry I’ve been so quiet this week, I’ve had the most wonderfully busy time.

    Happy New House!

    The exciting happy news is that I am now available for dates in a lovely new flat! It is just one stop away from my usual crash-pad. Down a quiet road near to Bayswater and Queensway tube stations. Perusing the area I’ve found I am extraordinarily near to Kensington Palace, Kensington High St, Notting Hill… Amazing what one tube stop does. I am still reachable by the Circle and District Lines, and also now by the Central Line too. If you are coming from Paddington or Heathrow this is still a hop skip and a jump. Yes indeed, if you are going to be seeing me sometime its a whole new playground I’m in!

     

    This week I’ve been to the theater, christened my flat, been shopping, and also eaten some wonderful meats and smelly cheeses and had some nice bubbley to boot! I’ve got a lot on my plate that I’d like to share with you- So much moving and shaking is going on, and so many things have happened in the last 2 weeks that I don’t feel it would work to cram them into a few frantic sentences here. So I shall try to stop squealing and hopping around like a rabbit (you’d think the novelty of this behaviour would wear off, or that the combo of actions would be offputting… but no!) for long enough to compose something… coherent ish.

    I’ll write a couple of proper posts tomorrow and fill you in on all of the gossip, but suffice it to say I am really rather happy at the moment and I had to share it xx

    This week I am listening to: Ulla Pirtijaarvi’s Mattarahku Askai and Serge Gainsbourg’s Histoire de Melody Nelson. I am still reading Empire of The Sun, and have to get a move on as my to-read pile is backing up… And I am fearing my first day at the gym. (that will get a special post, which will be used to solicit muscle rubs and pity. My personal trainers voice fills my heart with fear even over the phone).

    But the long and short of it is, I am really happy :)

    Kisses xx

     


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