Evie's London Escort Blog

I was horrified to hear via a friend of mine, that there has been a murder of a woman in Brighton. The woman was working as a sex worker, and appears to have been strangled in her home. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/sussex/8312162.stm

The woman was a victim of a hate crime. Was this a hate crime? To me every intentional violent crime is a hate crime. The fact that she was transgendered does not change that.  This was a crime, perpetrated under unknown circumstances against an individual who did not under any circumstances deserve her fate.

She was close to her family, she studied philosophy, she looks like she would have been a fantastic person to talk to, she had a nice smile, and friends who loved her, and she was a sex worker. I don’t mention these things because I feel they need saying in order to humanize, I am saying them because a life is more than the sum of its parts, and too often (granted mostly in the more disgusting ‘news’papers in our country, and in those in the US) the victim of a crime will be judged by how society views and subsequently condemns their actions. This is most often the case when the victim is a woman, and doubly so when she is a sex worker.

We as individuals have a tendency to do some mental gymnastics to convince ourselves that we’re remote from a crime or event. I have found myself doing this today.

The line of thinking goes like this:  ‘Oh it will be someone who hates the transgendered’ Because thinking THAT allows us to feel that we have created a separation, between what could happen to us and what DID happen to someone else. Or how about ‘Oh well, victim was out walking late at night, I don’t do that’. A separation, between what we deem a hazardous behavior and anticipated consequence. It is less terrifying to think ‘Ahh well that counts me out of that group then, I am still safe’ But it doesn’t serve anyone to walk around with blinkers on in an ‘It won’t happen to me’ fog. You don’t stay safe by the sort of logic that says ‘Not yet, therefore not ever’.

I can remember seeing someone try to justify driving drunk because ‘I haven’t crashed yet’.  No, I think the disconnect is clear there to everyone.

It might seem hackneyed an example, but I have never been in a plane crash, yet I always know where the emergency exits are, I check that my flotation device is under the seat. The crash or possibility of a crash is beyond my control completely. Apart from those precautionary measures the flying is not up to me, just as life is beyond our control and we must have personal responsibility or the things that we can.

Except in that analogy the threat is one of accident, and the factors and the ramifications are easily quantified. Here, the threat is hate, and it is incalculable and  unknown, yet we actually have a great deal more control and more chances. Yet we let ourselves be calmed with the ‘not yet not ever’ reasoning, and we shouldn’t be… or maybe I shouldn’t be.

No one wants to think that missing person could be their son, or their sister, or their husband or wife…but for the grace of god, that could have been someone I know, or someone you know. That could have been me.

We must all be reminded that violence sadly can happen to any of us, at any time, and it is up to all of us to take personal actions to protect ourselves as best we can.  I take my safety very seriously, I hope you all will as well. Take precaution as best you can.

If there is one positive I could say on this subject, it is that a suspect, Neil McMillan, has been charged with murder. http://www.getreading.co.uk/news/s/2059254_man_charged_with_murdering_andrea_waddell

I hope Andrea will have justice. I wish her family and loved ones all of the love and peace the world now, can offer. Andrea and her family have all of the deepest sympathies and love in my heart.

xxx